Art: Hitting the Wall

Hitting the Wall. We’ve all hit some sort of wall from time to time. It’s part of the process, no matter how frustrating that may be. I get it. Usually when I hit a wall, it’s accompanied with self doubt and the over acceptance of not being good enough. I get stuck in a certain style and I neglect any attempt at real growth. A great example in my symmetrical portraits that are fun to do, and not that challenging for me.

Art, for me, is a catharsis. If I don’t art I focus on things that are out of my control, and then my depression and anxiety grows exponentially. When I draw, or design, I loose my sense of hyper focus on self or situation and I am free.

While I’ve done projects for others and have been paid, mostly my art has been just for my own sanity. I love to share, and don’t get much feedback, but I find that the act of putting myself out there is just another step in controlling my depression. It feels like I am opening myself up for social interaction and that makes me feel pretty good… at times.

What do you do when you’ve hit that wall? I’ve stared at my digital canvas. I’ve doodled. I’ve done some rough tracing. None of it is satisfying. Perhaps I should “ink” some John Byrne pencils? What happens when I make it past the wall. More of the same? Growth? Who knows.

What I do know is that I draw for me, and that is something that I constantly am repeating to myself like some mantra. If I don’t, I really get down on my lack of polish and skill when I view other artist’s works.

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