Sometimes I ask myself why I even bother doing this, or anything on the internet. I never come up with a definitive answer, yet I keep going on. While I appreciate those who do actually engage with me, I find it a bit depressing that nobody beyond my regulars even bother. I have two or three friends who come to see what I am doing here, or even engage with me on other platforms. Sometimes I feel like having access to analytics is a blessing and a curse to see where your visitors are from and then to see the lack of traffic and engagement everyday.
So why am I here? Why do I bother? Do I crave attention so badly? Well, I like to share my drawings and, to a lesser degree these days, my collectibles. I’ve been cooling on my collectibles lately since I am tired of being surrounded by stuff and it almost feels like it owns me instead of the other way round. Feedback has always been important, even though I have a slight aversion to striking up conversations.
This is a different time with loss of loved ones, political, social, health, and employment issues hitting all at once (along with being surrounded by wildfires in my location). Times are tough, and they are trying to break us. Heck, I’ve broken a few times. So in the end, if I can share a piece of something that I’ve done and make somebody smile, or be inspired, then I guess that makes this all worth it. That’s why, and every now and then I need to remind myself of that.
As you have probably guessed this is me thinking out loud, formy own benefit. An internal dialog that I need to take to the external from time to time for a type of Self-Care. Almost as if I am journaling like a Stoic, relocating my center zero-point of secular Zen, and accepting my true nature and how I am a part of my environment like a secular Daoist.
If you read this far, thank you for being here and actually caring.